It would have been Kaky's 59th birthday today. I miss her but I can tell from this beautiful sunny day she is shining down as our angel reminding us she is there...
Katherine Anne Arnerich Belding... was a one-of-a-kind. She made a lasting impression on everyone she met and brought a fresh definition to the words grace, beauty, courage, strength and FUN.
Born March 9, 1951 right here in Watsonville to Jim and Mary Arnerich and was a new baby sister to my Mom, Janet. She soon became a big sister to Jerry, John and then her long awaited little sister Mary Elise/Mimi who is very grateful that Kaky "prayed her into the world." Kathy LOVED babies and even loved being a baby. Her siblings teased her about wearing her little white leather high-top walking shoes until she was a good 5 years old and Kathy's refusal to sleep anywhere but in a crib. I'm not sure if this made it easier or harder on Marmar with two baby boys close behind, but being a new mother myself I especially appreciate how Marmar used this to her advantage... and after coming home from a night with friends and lots of Martini's she would sprinkle Cheerio's in the cribs so when the babies woke up they entertained themselves with breakfast and she got to sleep in just a little bit longer :)
Kathy went to Moreland Notre Dame elementary school in Watsonville and made many lifelong friends. She was so well liked and remembered by friends who reminisce about the good ole days growing up in a small town. The birthday parties, the shenanigans and the life of a family with five kids and fun parents. The Arnerich home was a place everyone wanted to be in Watsonville... they had a special childhood thanks to Jim and Mary and warmly welcomed anyone who came by to visit.
Kathy and her siblings spent summers in San Francisco with their dad's family and had fond memories of sleepovers with their cousins the Scott girls, staying up way too late and eating nothing but ice cream... spoiled by the grandmother of course.
Kathy is remembered by her friends and classmates for her sense of humor, fun personality and her warm beauty. She was even voted "Best Looking" in the senior superlatives for Watsonville High School's class of 1969.
After college... several years as a young working girl in San DIego...and a lot of other stories better told outside of this church, Kathy moved to the Peninsula where her big sister Janet and brother-in-law John were living. She started working at the Palo Alto Times newspaper in the business office where she would soon meet her sweet husband Rich Belding. Rich remembers her as the life of the office with perfectly manicured hands and a smile that made everyone want to come to work to chat with Kathy. One night at an office retirement party she and Rich started talking, spurred by the coincidence of their birthdays, just a day apart. It wasn't surprising to hear Kathy invited half of the party back to her apartment and Rich lingered after most of the guests had left for a little more time with Kathy... they talked and talked and by the time Rich was leaving he told Kathy "I think I've found a new friend." They were the best of friends from that day forward and shared a very special marriage based on this friendship.
Their courtship was quick, as they both knew this was a sure thing. Rich and Kathy were married in 1982 in a beautiful ceremony and as you would expect a great party. They lived together in Menlo Park and found themselves with two Standard Poodles, Boris & Brenda.
I have fond memories of special sleepovers at Kaky and Rich's house. Kaky was my god-mother and we have always shared a special bond. She would let me play with all the jewelry she inherited from Rich's mom... even giving me some to take home until someone pointed out once I was wearing a lot of real gold and diamonds for a 4 year old. Kathy, the newlywed was already thinking about having her own babies and had a collection of dolls at home to teach me how to swaddle wrap.
(at my baptism 1978)
She and Rich found out they were expecting twins in 1986 and could not have been more thrilled or to say it in one of my favorite expressions Kaky used she was "over-the-moon-excited." They were blessed with a boy and a girl, John Patrick and Emily Sears and what proud parents they were. Emily was a beautiful baby and John was... well... a little awkward as a newborn :) We all know what a handsome young man he is but we like to remind John that at the hospital Rich told Kathy "don't worry, there is always plastic surgery." Rich would do anything for his wife and her happiness. "John the Little Lepruchan" as Marmar called him quickly turning into an adorable little toddler so Rich was spared having to make good on his word to Kathy :)
The twins were the light of their parents life from the moment they entered it. Kathy ALWAYS wanted to be a mom and what a wonderful mother she was. A good friend was working at Sequoia Hospital and remembers peeking in at Kathy from the hallway. Her eyes were closed but she was awake and had the most beautiful, peaceful smile on her face. With these perfect little bundles- her dreams had come true, one pink and one blue.
Soon the Belding family moved to their adorable house on Pearl Ave in San Carlos. Kathy and Rich made lifelong friends in their new community and raised their babies. Kathy started working at Driver's License Guide in Redwood City and has been a part of this small business family for 20 years. She was lucky to find friendships in her co-workers and felt very fortunate to have a part-time job that still allowed her to be a full-time mom.
Kathy loved the friends and memories she made in the early years raising her children. She told me a few weeks ago to enjoy this time with my daughter- and that she hoped I would meet the lasting, most fun friends at pre-school orientation just as she and Rich had. She recalled telling Rich as they drove to the preschool orientation, that these would be some of the best years of their life. I know Kathy played a big part in creating those friendships and kickstarting the good times.
The San Carlos carpools became the stuff of legend- the kids and parents still talk about the fun car rides, taco bell trips, long chats and glasses of wine. But even in carpools and field trips Kathy hated to drive on the freeways and much preferred the "back roads." Maybe it was being a small town girl, but in San Carlos and Menlo Park this meant spending a lot of time on the El Camino. Even though it meant getting to field trips half an hour after the rest of the class, everyone wanting to ride with Kathy because she always threw in a Taco Bell drive through stop along the way.
When I was 16 with a hot-off-the press drivers license, I drove the twins home from our house and took Highway 101... Emmy and John looked at me as we pulled up to Pearl Ave in a record 9 minutes and said "Woah, I didn't know we lived this close to each other!"
Kaky's baby sister Mimi- and Andy, with little Claire and Connor- before Drew came along- moved into the house across the street from the Belding's on Pearl Ave. The sisters shared a lot of memories together and their husbands, Rich and Andy shared a lot of Manhattans. The Kreeft and the Belding kids have grown up like siblings and are still so close.
Kaky LOVED that her children both excelled at sports. Luckily they inherited some athletic genes from their All American swimmer dad :) Emmy is an amazing, mutli-sport athlete and has been since she could walk. One of John's coaches said he "marveled at his talent and skills" and that while John was one of his most favorite players he ever coached the Beldings were always the family that he admired and respected most. Their enthusiasm radiated to everyone around them.
Emmy's soccer career has been impressive- with her current role as a Division 1 college athlete at San Jose State. Kathy was SO proud to be a Spartan parent and in the stands at every game with Rich and their entourage of fans. One game last season we filed the cheering section with 40+ people there to see Emmy. She is a force to be reckoned with on the field and a true shinning star. This made Kathy so happy- Em and Johners- your sports and accomplishments were a gift you gave your mother.
Kathy might not have been athletic herself, but she sure was a super fan and she made her own sport up there in the stands.... meeting new people and making new friends. She was always the biggest fan for every team the kids played on and made every game single that she could- and those of her nieces and nephews too. She never wanted to miss a thing, she never wanted to miss all the fun.
The twins both told me they've always felt so lucky to be Kathy's children and they always loved having her as their Mom.
They both remember watching movies with her all day in bed while Rich catered to them as our butler- Jeeves.
John and his mom had a special mother-son relationship. Emmy didn't like to miss a day of school so on some days Kaky would come into John's room and say "You want to pay hooky for a 'Mom and Son Day"? They'd go to their favorite breakfast spot, do some shopping and just hang out together.
Emmy said some of her favorite memories are driving around with her mom for hours trying to perfect their latest duet song until they had ever line nailed- no one sang "breaking up is hard to do" or Taylor Swift better than Emmy and her Mom. Emmy says it best- that her mom was "the spark plug in life." They were the best of friends.
Kathy started so many traditions in our family and holidays were very important to her. Her Christmas Crackers were always something we looked forward to.... Kathy came up with a beautifully written, well-rhyming poem to kick off our Christmas Eve celebration and had lottery tickets and a $100 hidden inside the winning cracker, a gesture she inherited from my grandfather.
Christmas Day we always had a big bash at my parents house with all of the Arnerich relatives and close family friends. My mom told me the other day, after reading all the wonderful notes people had written to Kathy, that even though she always felt like she was hosting the party at Christmas... she realizes she and my dad were in the kitchen cooking and preparing while Kaky was the gracious host in the front of the house making all the guests feel welcome and entertaining us all. I know heaven is a brighter place today with Kathy at the front of the house entertaining everyone up there.
KAKY'S 50TH birthday bash at my parents house right before she was diagnosed was a testament to the friends she has made and kept close to her heart throughout her life. You didn't have to see Kathy everyday or even every year to catch right back up when you saw her and recall all the old times you'd shared. I see so many of her dear friends in these pews today... I know how much you meant to her.
Kathy's life and the life of her family was turned upside down when she was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer 8 years ago. Emmy came across a beautiful excerpt in her journal, though that illustrates her positive outlook on even the darkest days. Kathy said "This in not about endings however, but rather a story of the beginnings of a new life. One I did not choose but one that chose me seemingly out of the blue on a beautiful May day in 2001."
Soon after this the Beldings moved over the hill to Aptos, to a beach house with a beautiful view while Kathy fought for her first remission. The Belding's fit right into their new community... Kathy loved living close to her mom again, close to her sister Mimi and close to her roots. The Kreefts had made the move over the hill a few years earlier and Kathy developed a special relationship with her buddy Drew who was only 3 at the time. As a family the Beldings made so many new friends... everybody wanted Kathy at every party. As the Hinga's said "Kathy you weren't just the life of the party... you were the party." Dancing on the front lawn to music blasting out the windows in im-promptu lawn parties... singing Frank Sinatra and Rod Stewart with candlesticks in hand... taking tequila shots with the twenty somethings. Kaky made any scenario into a party you wouldn't soon forget.
There is a song that reminded us so much of Kathy, appropriately titled "You're My Life". The lyrics spoke to us about her.... "So wild, so pure, so sweet, so right. Like a smooth rolling river up again that blazing sunset sky".... our favorite.... "You're a string cup of coffee, an elegant glass of wine." ...and she sure was. And if you haven't heard "Kaky's Song" written and sung by our good friend Molly... well it is a tribute to Kaky in itself and brought us all comfort these past few weeks. (I'm pretty sure my Uncle John will have it blaring from his iPod at the reception and there won't be a dry eye in the house.)
Kathy fought hard. She fought for her life. For her Husband. For her Children. For her Family. And for her Friends. She fought through the pain she lived with everyday to light up the smile on her face and to make the most of every minute she had on earth. She fought with grace and with dignity and her spirit and her faith never wavered. When she was very sick in the hospital a young nurse came in to take her blood and couldn't get a vein. While most of us would be bitterly complaining about the unsuccessful pokes, Kathy said "that's ok sweetie, it gives us more time to get to know each other." She had doctors from years past calling just to check in on her when she was home on hosipce. Just this morning I got an email from one of her doctors at Kaiser.. she said "Even though I knew her for only a short time- I will never forget her. She made me remember why I do what I do. Kathy was one of the most memorable patients I have ever met and I wish I could have known her under different circumstances." Kaky made an impression on literally everyone she met.
Kathy had such a strong Faith and I believe that, along with the support of her family, kept her going through the difficult times. She loved her religious relics and and whenever friends asked what they could do to help all she ever asked for were prayers- the power of prayer was what she was convinced kept her going. Emmy reminded me she always told her children to pray for those who had no one to pray for them.
In the last few weeks we had a lot of time with Kathy to hold her hand, reminisce about the wonderful life she led and to let her know how much we all loved her. She kept her spirit up until the very end... her warm smile and contagious upbeat attitude. If you visited Kathy she wanted to know how YOU were doing and every detail about the fun things going on in your life. She put aside her pain to enjoy her visit with you and make you feel like you were the most important person.
One day in the hospital about a week after she was told there was nothing more the doctors could do. Kathy said she was a little worried about what it would be like to go to heaven and my mom said "But Kathy we believe you're going on to the beautiful place and we're the ones who will suffer here without you..." and Kathy said "Oh I know. And I'll get to see Mom and Dad, Grandma and Grandpa...." She was quiet for a moment. Then she said "And famous people too." ... and with all the energy and conviction we know Kathy to posses she said "I'm going right up to Nicole Brown Simpson and asking her EXACTLY what happened!"
As evidenced by the beautiful comments left by so many on the "Prayers for Kaky" website... there could be no better sister, aunt or friend.
It was a true testament to their family bond to see Kathy and her siblings together throughout her illness and especially in the end. Mimi, Janet, John and Jerry spent countless hours at her side keeping her company, bringing a smile to her face and making sure she was as comfortable as possible. They all loved their sister Kathy.
But her most important role in life was her role as a wife and as a mother.
Emily, Rich and John you were her rocks and the real heros. You were there for the hard times and to keep her going. You were strong and supportive and loving.
As much as she made all of us feel that we were important and wanted to know all about our lives... it was always Rich, Emily and John that were the most important people in her world. She loved HER family and she loved being a your wife and being your mother.
We all see so much of Kathy in the three of you. You carry on her wonderful traits- her fun loving spirit, her humor, and her big heart. We will all get to see a piece of Kathy every time when we are around you.
Driving over the hill to Aptos last Wednesday night shorlty after Kathy passed away, we saw a bright shooting star come straight down at us between the redwoods in a sliver of sky. We saw Kathy sending her light down to tell us she is free. She will be watching over us, sending us little signs and letting us know she is happy and living it up in heaven until we see her again.
I have no doubt anyone in this church will forget Katherine Anne Belding. Remember her spirit and charm, her laugh, and her contagious smile. Be a good friend and make others feel welcome and loved- especially those who need it the most. Remember that life is a gift. Hold your family close to your heart and most of all make sure you don't miss any of the fun.
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We miss you Kaky.
